Which Parents Abuse Their Children

Indeed thinking that we KNOW Which Parents Abuse their children might just lead us up the garden path. Some young teens can put older parents to shame and some older more wise looking parents may well be the very ones who are abusing their children. Some alcoholics do manage to get food on the table and look after their children as best they can. Obviously this is not the ideal situation for any child, but there are worse situations than this. Many children are abused behind closed doors by cold and calculating adults.

In so many cases putting our fingers on Which Parents Abuse their children totally eludes us. They may look and act in a way that we consider perfectly normal. They even laugh and joke with their children who often times also seem to be quite fine. These people may be doctors, school teachers, ministers, the jolly milk man or the till operator. They may also be the couple who live next door with their beautiful polite children. And yes they may also be the alcoholic, the druggie and the teenager.

Abuse then is deliberate harm, sexual, physical and mental. It is the parent who deliberately harms a child by smacking or hitting them with a fist, belt, shoe, stick, whip. Anything that in fact can cause grievous bodily harm. Any child walking around with bruises caused by any object used for punishment has been abused. An open handed slap anywhere across the face or head is abuse.

I am of the opinion that God intended that we feel pain on our hands not just to warn us of the harm of slapping it down onto a heated plate, or in a fire, but also as a warning of going too far. Smacking a child on the bottom in extreme circumstances usually hurts the smackee as much as the smacked. I do not condone smacking in general but at least take the stinging hand as a warning of over stepping the mark. Which Parents Abuse includes those who with-hold food, necessary clothing and general care from a child, in favour of alcohol, drugs and partying, or even for a pair of nice shoes! It is also the parents who find no time to look after their childrens needs. Expecting them from very young to be able to wash and dress themselves, to get their own food when they are too small to even reach the cupboard. And or sending them to school in dirty clothing and unwashed bodies and hair. Parents most likely to neglect or punish children in this fashion tend to be those who have no clue on how to raise a child and more than likely to have had a similar upbringing. A child that always cries due to neglect can drive an ignorant parent to do the most awful things, particularly those with little empathy, also due to their own up-bringing. They are the parents who lock their children away for hours at a time as punishment, who never accept an appology. Who do not hear, or simply ignore cries of genuine sorrow, hunger, pain and fear. Parents who abuse in this way tend to lack empathy and are therefore quite likely to take the abuse up a few more levels and feel nothing about touching a lighted cigarette to the child and other more extreme abuse. Lets be clear about this when seeking out Which Parents Abuse, these types of abuse are not easily hidden and are more likely to be obvious to the public in general. Any child who is seen to have many sores on the tops of the hands, thighs, stomach or back, or have bruises all over, is always in filthy clothes no matter the time of the day, are never dressed for the cold, flinch each time a hand is raised and tend always to be quiet should arouse suspicion in us and if there is more than one observable possible sign of abuse, it is worth reporting. This way child services will take a look and may even offer a help to a parent who might be struggling. Which Parents Abuse, are those 'name call' for a laugh in front of their friends, or even when they are alone. Derogatory terms used now and again are hurtful, on a daily basis, it is abusive. Childrens' understanding of themselves comes from parents facial expressions when they are talking to them and from the terminologys used when speaking to or about them. Constant Yelling and screaming at kids, curbs the childs ability to explain or have meaningful conversations, in other words another generation of kids will most probably be brought up in the same way. Too many parents use yelling as a form of discipline and it never works.

The biggest problem is knowing Which Parents Abuse in this and other ways, and which people, as they do not neccesarily need to be parents themselves. What do they look like? How can we tell?

There is no easy answer to this but there are a few tell tale signs that we should be wary of. Many abusers are outwardly controlling, they dictate dress, time, friends. They sulk for days over an assumed slight and make sure that they never do the apologising. Some seemingly passive agressive people use the sulking method to ensure control and exact retribution by forcing an apology in the form of getting the person to do something that they both know is wrong. They will most often place the blame on the other partner by saying 'you made me do it'. This particular accusation is also often used by those who physically abuse as well, and carry it over onto children who 'make them' lose control and are to blame for the battering or sexual abuse that they the parent or guardian has carried out. No young child or teenager is to blame for the sexual acts that men or women force upon them regardless of how they the children, dress or behave.

People who remain cool as a cucumber over an assumed insult when at an event or party, and pick it up to level 10 the moment they are alone are particularly dangerous. For people like this, impressions of themselves as nice guy/girl are all important and in general they manage to keep up this image by saving savage resentment and abusive behaviour until they reach home, this goes for their prtners and children as well. It doesn't matter what form of revenge they exact, physical or mental, if you feel that you are dealing with Jekyl and Hide get out of this type of relationship as fast as possible. Any children stuck in a relationship such as this are going to suffer abuse whether by proxy or as the subject.

The person that uses high decibel counts to prevent others from talking will use the same method on children. This relationship is bound to be problematic as this is another form of control and another form of abuse.

Picking peadophiles out from the crowd is very difficult. They know full well that this behaviour is unacceptable in society and therefore learn all the skills it takes to keep it hidden. Experience has shown me that all types of people are capable of such acts. None of them have stood out from the crowd. My own notes have shown me that the person who objects the most about naked babies and small children has often been the one who has the capability of sexual abuse. Note that I have said it is very difficult to be absolutely sure about defining paedophiles and this is inexact, but I have found this to be true from a number of my own experiences. Beware of people who invite a child out of the room that all the adults are in, to take him/her to their own bedroom in order to give them a gift or sweet, this is a form of hiding in plain sight. Most adults would never believe that a person would dare sexually assault a child whilst they or other people are in the general vicinity. Sadly abusers know this unspoken rule and it only adds to the thrill.

Watch out for the child that suddenly shys away from a previously well liked person, even if that person is as old as grandad or is young and married. Be observant of new friends who are overtly interested in pre-teens and young teens.

Encourage your children to let you know of late night visits by anyone whilst you are asleep, dont put pressure on this, make it feel like a normal part of everyday conversation by asking if they slept well. Use common sense if the child avoids the question or reacts in a way that is unusual for him/her. Ask teens about visitors that have come to the house whilst you have been at work, even if the person is dad. Knowing of such incidents gives the chance to investigate it further without warning the potential abuser. You can also check with the police if the person is on the paedophiles data base. Of course not all paedophiles are registered unless they already carry a record.

When thinking about Which Parents Abuse do not count out Step Parents and older step children. This is another reason if re-marrying or taking on another partner to ask your kids how they have slept, if anyone came to tell them a story, (good ploy for initiating open conversation) or came to tuck them in.

Be sensible and be observant, not all men are paedophiles and it would be very wrong to make our kids frightened of every male that comes into their lives. One last word, Never take advice that suggests, the roof over your head and the clothes on your back are worth more than a little bit of abuse! I personaly have had this 'wonderful advice' given to me when I was 15!

For those parents who get nervous about why their child keeps crying and who want more parenting skills to help them out, I have added some links that may be useful. Never be afraid to ask for help. Being a new parent can be quite daunting and very scary for some. There are loads of qualified people in this world who would love to help out, maybe even granny!

If you find yourself too far out to go to parenting classes, look for books that teach authoratative and confident parenting. (very different from Authoratarian)

Check out the links below, I have added another useful link for women, "Our Natural Resources"

Help and advice on Parenting

Our Natural Resources

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