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Together Forever Gang, Married Or PartnersTogether Forever Gangs, can mean marriage or a partnership. The one sounds intrinsically wrong. It need not be, but there is something lacking in a partnership. Firstly it sounds like a business deal with an unspoken contract that either partner can opt out, should things go sour. I realise that marriage these days for some people also has an opt out clause attached, quite often called Alimony. In both cases if this is the way that one or both of the couple views the written or unwritten contract then they should walk away. There is no opt out clause for children born into a marriage that is viewed so casually, nor for children born into such a partnership. Therefore before creating an own tenuous Together Forever Gang, both these options should be considred very carefully. Some of the reasons for getting married or creating a partnership are pretty loony to say the least. Top of the list is getting married for reasons of fulfilling the childhood dream of being a princess for a day with all the trimmings. These don't usually last very long once the dream has turned back into the real world of living with someone who was basically used for the occassion. Others get married to hang onto a dream by tying the special someone down, mostly those who go down this road are marrying the girl with the princess dream, so she is most likely looking at this from a very skewed angle. Still others view marriage as a safe haven. This view is most likely going to be the one where safety becomes a prison. Young girls may choose one of these options to get out of the house or school away from responsibility. These people are unlikely to form a Together Forever Gang as they are marrying for all the wrong reasons. Partnerships are just as likely to fail if the couple go into this type of relationship for the wrong reasons, some of which are very similar to those for marrying. In the main partnerships are regarded as being as exclusive as those couples who are in a marriage. At the same time many feel that there is wiggle room in a partnership as after all, they have not signed any contracts! Others feel that by living together they will be able to make an informed desicion about getting married later on. And still others feel that they will get all the benefits of a marriage without the hassle, and if they do split there is no messy divorce, they can simply pack their bags and leave with no hard feelings. WRONG!!! No matter which Together Forever Gang relationship couples choose, breaking up is just as messy as either. Granted there are no court proceedings needed to finalise a marriage break up,
but there is no finality in a partnership break up, which means there is no closure. No finality, can lead to the pain of the break up lasting much longer. In general the baggage from both types of split are equally weighty as well as equally, hurtful and destructive for both couples and the children. It takes as long to recover from a broken long term relationship as it does to recover from a broken marriage.
If either partner in a serious relationship, by serious I mean living together or being engaged, feels unsure about the long-term viability of the relationship, then get real and end it. Nothing is going to change that mind set, if anything it will be the rotten apple in the bowl. No amount of time is going to change the chemistry of an unsound commitment and produce an Forever Together Gang. If there are children already involved and the relationship is wobbly but not yet acidic then seek relationship counseling. If the relationship is acrimonious and violent, then it is in the interest of not only the couple involved but of the children as well. In fact more so for the children as their impression of relationships in general will be more than a bit warped, which so often makes for bad choices in their partners for an Forever Together Gang. We are already witnessing this phenomenon. There are no real plusses for living together as apposed to being married. Most woman want a relationship sealed by marriage and the words that sanctify the union. For many it is this ritual that gives them the comfort and courage to create their own Together Forever Gang. There is a real compliment in the proposal of marriage, even today. Most of us tend to view marriage as more of a commitment than living together. Men sweat far more about getting married than they do about having someone move in with them, and that is as it should be. Any partnership needs to make a person break sweat thinking about it. It is a very serious business with very serious consequences if it all goes South. Men also tend to think more seriously about making babies with someone they are married to than they do with un-sanctified partnerships. Many of them still seem to believe that babies that are born from partnerships that go sour, are not their problem and are more likely to disown their responsibility toward the child. The long term danger of multiple partnerships and babies is the possibility of brothers and sisters or first cousins ending up in relationships with each other never knowing that they are related. Marriages ensure that babies are registered to both the mother and the father and there are records that are 99% correct about the childs parents AND they are traceable. This is not always the case with partnerships. Children thrive in good, caring, solid, Together Forever Gangs. There are however children who have come through shattered relationships and have managed to pop out on the otherside happy and healthy. This is generally because at least one of the parents has given them the love, care and understanding built upon their own, possibly glued together foundations. How well they survive such an ordeal also has to do with the childs own intrinsic nature. The point is they should not, if at all possible, have to go through this pain and devolution of trust. It takes an awful lot of commitment to manage a half, of a Forever Together Gang. I salute the mothers and the fathers who have made this commitment to their children and done it on their own. I wish them all love and happiness and hope that they can still find the right partner for a Forever Together Gang.
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