Teen Sex Manners Don't seem to be on anyone's agenda. The fact that we know most 16 year olds are already participating in sex, still has not got us frothing at the mouth about how little respect our teens have for one another. Mostly we take passive resignation in accepting the obvious, which is that the earlier kids have sex, in particular girls, the less likely it will be that 'respect' even raises it's head. 'Scuse the pun! Mostly adults tend to take it for granted that their teen gang member, (in particular their sons) will end up somewhere in the back of a car rummaging through someones underwear for about ten minutes or so, and that there is nothing they can do about it. so why bother giving advice Right??
The truth is a little more horrifying. Many young teen girls are raped when drunk. Sex acts are often carried out in toilets, back alleys and if they are lucky perhaps on a grassy knoll behind a bush. Truant teens are often likely to have sex in their own homes or at a friends home. Many more are having sex at an earlier age in order to be cool, or do so, to honour a sex pact with a mate or a group of girls. Young Teen girls who are on drugs are more likely to have sex for drugs or for money to get drugs. This means they could be having sex with strangers! Some 11+14yr olds are having sex because they want to have babies!! Still others will have sex in order to cement a relationship with a boy they fancy themselves in love with. However we look at it there is an alarming lack of respect, dignity, care about STI's, and a total exemption of responsibility. What does stand out is that teenagers are lacking in parental guidance and boundries. The new excuse that teenagers are not the same today as they were 20yrs ago or longer is a load of balls! The only difference in teenagers today is that no one expects them to be respectful of themselves or each other. We parents have changed the goal posts and use government guidelines as a total cop out.
The fact that we dont teach boys and girls what to expect from a relationship, how to treat each other, let alone a sex partner, means we cannot be surprised to find that Teen Sex Manners do not exist. The earlier young teens start having sex, the more likely it is that both boys and girls will have a bad experience which leads to poor expectancy of pleasurable sex, relationships and real love. This can extend on into adulthood and poor expectancy, poor partner choices, only confirms low expectancy.
We are all over young kids with clinical sex information in a desperate bid to stop them from having sex at an early age. So far it is not working but in fact keeps getting worse. Too much information at the wrong time, and not enough information on manners or respect. Perhaps if we teach Teen Sex Manners, we will be more successful in this endeavour as sex manners do or should at least take into consideration, the feelings and pleasure of both parties. (A must for Teen Sex Manners)
Teen Sex Manners are not just for boys but girls as well. No point in one gender having manners and not the other! So girls this is for all of you as well.
I hope that I can, and do answer some of your questions on Teen Sex Manners.
I think that these few lines from Xibit says a lot about sex, gangs and girls. The words maybe shocking to some but this is what's real and happening with many city kids.
We wanna fuck every fuckin chicken we fuckin find,But then there comes a time, when you start to grow,But you ain't growin with me and it's startin' to show,Before I say I can't live without ya,Let's sit and have a talk about family values, now listen I see you got some kids, that you ain't never with,Your baby father put hands on you, some crazy shit,So he gon' pay for that, fuck with niggaz who rap,Most of that quality time is spent on your back,Now before I devote the rest of my life,Can you at least show a nigga, you can boil some rice,Is that too much to ask, am I movin too fast,Do you have anything to offer me besides some ass,You think you high class, the upper echelon,But spend all your rent money in the hair salon,I'm 'sposed to help you out, but it just made me think,You ain't ready for the world, you ain't ready for me.Xibit
Sex Manners for boys. Top of the list is the question of, do you really like this girl, or is this someone you hope will give you sexual gratification? If it is the latter, e.g. sexual gratification only, then treat her with respect by either walking away or at least by telling her how you feel and give her the chance to walk away as well. (most young girls go to bed with guys because they fancy themselves in love, or that the act will make the guy fall in love with them.) This adds to the destruction of their self esteem when they find out that it was only about the sex. Also at the top of Teen Sex Manners list is, or should be, to be very sure that the girl you sleep with is is 16yrs. It is still a criminal offence even today to have sex with an underage girl, that being under sixteen!
Teen Sex Manners for boys should start with a quick physical check. Never go on a date without Bathing first! So clean hair, clean feet, clean teeth, clean nails and keep nails short if you ever want to be any kind of lover at all, (girls are made from softer skin than boys) plus clean underwear, clothes and condom. To NOT respect this rule means you have no respect for your date or yourself. Girls, if your date pitches up and has not bothered to go through this very elementary and basic process, take note he is not that interested and you will simply be another notch on his smelly, raggedy belt! A condom in his pocket means he has Teen Sex Manners so even if he does not get any he is at least prepared to protect his date, himself and potential babies.
Teen Sex Manners second rule for boys, if the intention is just to have sex, the very least that guys can do, is to treat the girl with respect and possible future lives with respect, by using a condom. That is if the poor thing decides to go to bed with y'all! Not using a condom means lack of respect for women, babies, you, and life itself. It also shows alarming stupidity and ignorance. There is no such thing as it 'just happened'! Boys know from the get go that they have the intent to have sex with a particular girl, or just girls in general should the opportunity arise. Message, CARRY CONDOMS!! Girls, try to remember that boys from about the age of thirteen already have an intent to have sex, and any of you will do just nicely! I am pretty sure by now that I will not have to mention STD's and the risks both partners have of catching one by not using condoms. Schools have told you all about this right?? For all types of contraceptives click on the link below as it gives many more choices other than just the pill. However contraceptives will not stop the spread of sexual diseases. only a condom offers that type of protection.
The most important aspect that boys must take into consideration, is their report of the girl that they have had sex with, to mates and friends. DO NOT RUN DOWN the girl that you have had the pleasure of sleeping with. Running her down simply states that your taste and ability to descriminate is very dodgy, making you #1 on the list of guys to AVOID sleeping with. PS. parents who join in this disgusting defamation of character with their sons, should take heed of the spiritual rule of what goes around comes around, and the next time it maybe your own daughter.
Teen Sex Manners, Third rule for boys. If you want to be one of the worlds' best lovers, TAKE IT SLOW, girls don't warm up as fast as boys do. A frantic rush to get in there, will only work the first few times until she figures out that, actually, she is not getting as much fun out of it as you apparantly are! Get this bit right boys and you will be on the fast track to famed lover! Girls, if all you are getting is his attention on your lower half, which then disappears the moment the sperm shout Hallelulia!, then recognise that you are simply being used as his, 'get off' girl! Hang around to your own detriment!
Fourth rule in Teen Sex Manners for boys is , NEVER ever, force yourself on a girl even if you think she is 'gagging' for it! (Only in porn' shows guys!) Slow down, if she really is interested she will not protest, and she should not have to! Girls generally need more time to think about sex than boys, even if it is only a few minutes more or however long it takes for her to decide that she wants to do this. Forcing women to have sex is disrespectful, immature and dangerous. A lot of men like the idea of a 'little bit' of control and quite often women do too, but it takes a mature mind to know how much is too much, and teens cannot guage this with raging hormones. So in order to avoid hurting someone and a rape charge, do not pretend to know that her 'no' means yes!
Fifth rule in Teen Sex Manners for boys is do not get drunk and have sex. It is very likely that when drunk, all good manners and inhibitions will simply disappear. Getting drunk in order to get the courage to approach a girl shows sexual immaturity, cowardliness and disrespect, so wait awhile longer. Girls who do this suffer the most as do the babies if it ends up in a pregnancy, due to the high probability of not remembering who they went to bed with, and therefore not knowing who the father is. They also risk becoming the talking point in their own gangs' conversations and other less friendly groups. Suddenly, 'nice girl', who made a mistake becomes the local 'mattress', bicycle and every other derogatory description thought up by Teens with no Teen Sex Manners.
Boys, listen up, girls usually fancy the guy they know without the drink influenced personality! That is the guy they fell in love with, not the slurring, drooling impersonator, who is trying to get into their panties! All that aside, guys just don't perform well under the influence of alcohol, and if you are to become the worlds greatest lover you are not going to learn a thing when all memory is lost in the big black hole of alcohol. And girls you will never learn what it is that constitutes good and bad sex. Over all, drinking and sex constitutes no Teen Sex Manners. Any male or female that uses drink and drugs to get someone into their beds with them, is seriously disturbed and should not be allowed to work in a morgue!
Sixth rule boys, a BJ should never be treated with casual indifference, it is as intimate and personal as sex itself. STD's can also be passed on through this form of love making. These include venereal warts, herpes and HIV AIDS. And not just from boy to girl but from girl to boy as well. Multiple sexual partners make this a very real possibility. Both actual sex, and Blow Jobs should really only be done with someone well known, respected and loved. If either sex knows that the person they fancy has been putting it around, they should refrain from either act until they know for sure that this person does not have any STD's. Going ahead and doing it regardless means having to share the blame. As far as Teen Sex Manners go, regarding this sexual act, boys should not expect to have this as proof of love unless he is prepared to give the same back again. Also seeing as how boys go 'hooray' really fast, it should be done for the girl first, so that she is not left behind with only a self satisfied and now sexually useless young male, or any male that is so lacking in Teen Sex Manners.
Last and most important in Teen Sex Manners, treat any girl who is willing to have sex with you as someone special. If unsure that you could treat the willing party with respect afterwards, then be a real man with great sex manners and refrain from having any intimate relations with that person. (Genuine love helps to make sex great for both couples). Be prepared to do for your female partners everything that they have done for you, only more gently and probably quite a bit longer. Rely on her to tell you if you should be a bit on the rough side. Always listen and be aware of responses. Finally boys, women no matter what century we are in or how young/old they are, all love to be romanced. so come bearing gifts on a date, flowers for the older gals (the mom) if you really want to impress, and anything that makes girls happy today, like a CD cut by you for her. If you are lucky enough to have sex with her, take the time to give her a good long cuddle before you bolt out the door, clicking your heels together and shouting Geronimo!
By the way, dont have sex on your parents bed! Never have sex without protection!!! This is a sign of respect for yourself the girl that you are having sex with and unwanted babies.
Sex Manners for girls. First for girls a warning! Sex does not equate love for boys or men. They do think very differently from women. The younger they are the more likely it is that they are in it for the sex and nothing else. They learn really fast to tell girls that they are in love with them in order to get sex! Don't confuse lust with love. Lust is instinctual and fast. Love takes more time. Time spent on getting to know one another and enjoying it.
Teen Sex Manners for girls have some similarities as those for boys and why not? Boys should also expect his date to be clean and shiny! Don't drown the lovely clean smell of a bath with too much perfume, but of course do wear a bit of classy perfume and not cheap over sweet perfumes. The guy should get a nice gentle tease of it when he closes in for a kiss. Make sure that nails are clean and nicely shaped, guys do notice these things and after all you are going to be touching him with them, even if it is only his hands or face.
Teen Sex Manners for girls second rule, don't give sex on a first date. Even if he promises that he loves you. Boys generally have one hormone driven agenda, and that is to get inside those dainty little knickers as fast as possible and make babies. Make this mistake and it will become quite clear just how much he loves you. If he bolts within ten minutes or so, you have been used! No excuse should be taken into consideration, not even being late to get home, after all he was probably already late by the time he convinced you to shed your knickers! If you show little respect for your own body, then that is what you will get in return, including a reputation. And maybe at fifteen or whatever teeny age you are at the time, a reputation may seem cool, the fact is you are going to grow up, and reputations don't just go away when it is convenient for you. However as most teens do ignore good advice, at least don't ignore the condom advice. Think of the poor kid that could come into the world dominated by uncaring teen parents.
Teen Sex Manners Third rule for girls, if already having sex, make sure that you do NOT recieve or transmit STD's, by insisting on the use of condoms. (don't swallow the guff about "it doesn't feel the same"!) And to make sure that no unwanted kids come into the world, get onto some form of contraception like the pill. Condoms can break and everyone makes the mistake of having sex at least once without a condom! This is basic good manners to respect both partners and the unborn. Treat any sexual relationship with respect, it is very personal for both parties. Should you decide that you no longer want to have sex or any other relationship with a particular person, show respect by breaking it off without any nasty comments to him or people he knows. Remember what goes around comes around, and we never know when that very same person comes back into our lives one day and helps us out or defends us! Try always to stay friends.
The Teen Sex Manners BJ rule, stands for girls as well as the guys. Do not hand them out freely, they will not save a doomed relationship or even make someone love you. Whatever is given should also be received! Keep in mind the more people you give BJ's to, the bigger the risk of giving and receiving sexually transmitted diseases, in particular herpes, AIDS and genital warts! Really and truly, only committed partners that you know really well, should be given such a personal and intimate gift of love.
Teen Sex manners for girls also include how to approach a guy and how to initiate sex if desired. Young teen males are every bit as fragile as girls when it comes to self image. (By young I mean those that are of legal age and preferably above) Guys in general, also don't want to make mistakes in the act of love making. Therefore both partners should take it slowly. This is a mile stone for both sexes and should truly be taken seriously. Taking things slowly shows maturity and a willingness to take each other as being very special. Slowly also means being able to learn piece by piece what it is the other likes, Which areas of their bodies respond to touch more than other areas. For girls it is especially important, simply because they don't light up like roman candles in an instant. Girls are more like a fire made with two sticks, kindling, and a some gentle puffing to get them smouldering. This is one of the reasons that sex with the same partner is so much better than random sex with every other male. But in saying that I do not mean to infer that guys dont need some coaxing and special treatment. Guys tend to start simmering when being kissed on the neck and around the ear. (Do not do this if you don't intend on having sex with him, it is rude, immature and insensitive, a total failure of Teen Sex Manners).
Teen Sex Manners means making sure that nails are not ragged or dirty. And although we see guys as being rough and tough, it does not mean that they will like being loved up by rough skinned hands, sharp nails, or being yanked into the future somewhere. Gentle and firm, are two watch words. He will let you know how much rough he likes if you stick around long enough. Most importantly, do not push yourself on a boy that you like. If you dont get any sparks from him then walk away and let it go. You will at least retain your dignity and pride.
Teen Sex Manners last words, treat his mom with respect and dont go around his house dressed up like a tart. We all like to look a bit tarty, but not in front of the parents. Keep the best tarty looks for him alone and not the whole neighbourhood. Keep some secrets about yourself, it is very sexy. And if anyone treats you with a lack of respect, walk away! They will learn that the best is not for sale at any price. My very best advice is to wait until you know who YOU are, before expecting and allowing others to know you in any intimate way.
By the by, don't have sex on your parents bed! Very important Teen Sex manners rule.
Teen Sex Manners and myths.
There are a few porkys/lies that guys use in order to get girls into bed, and the best and most favoured one of all, is the myth that kissing him and not having sex as well, is harmful to his little bag of sperm donations. This is a load of rubbish. The male species is geared to use every trick in the book to get girls into bed with them. This is especially true for young, but not limited to, immature males.
The other myth frequently used is that it hurts, YUP! This is to appeal to the feminine nurturing instinct! It can't hurt!, there is very little blood in the brain at this stage, to transmit pain!
Myth; you can't fall pregnant after doing it only once, or for the first time! Unfortunately, Yes you can, lots of 'good' girls fall pregnant the very first time they have sex!
Myth; girls can't fall pregnant if the male does not penetrate her. This is a mistake, Girls can and do fall pregnant if the sperm has been ejaculated between her legs at the entrance to the vagina.
Myth: having oral sex can make you pregnant. This is not true, the sperm has to be ejaculated into or near the vagina opening.But a person can catch sexually transmittable diseases from doing this.
Myth: showering straight after sex or bathing will stop a girl from fallng pregnant or catching AIDS. Showering and bathing may get rid of some of the sperm but once in the vagina the sperm can survive for up to seven days after sex. Bacterial and viral diseases cannot simply be washed away, any slight abrasion will allow the bacteria and virus straight into the blood and surrounding tissue.
If there is any subject on this matter that I have not cleared up for you , male or female, I will answer any questions you might have with no judgement. No question is silly! All information given will be treated in total confidence and the answer will be sent to your personal e-mail address.
Take care of each other always and think carefully before having sex. Don't let any person treat you in a way that you would not treat them. Teen Sex Manners are important.
PS. It is important for girls to remember that, knowing who the mother of a child is, is a no brainer, proving who the father is can be a long and painful journey. Their are more single mothers than fathers!!!!
I have listed a few good books with great story lines and with some intimate details on sex for those of you over 18. I am assuming of course that some readers maybe under this age but I feel that if no information is forth-coming other than the biological aspect of sex, then these books may help. I say this with the knowledge of my own past, and how some of these books helped to clear up my own unspoken and unanswered fears about right and wrong urges and feelings. Young kids who have been sexually abused also often mature sexually a lot faster than other kids do, and they maybe needing answers a lot faster than their cohorts. I offer this list of books with the advisement that they are in my opinion more real about sex than Porno' magazines and toilet doors. They are still however subject to the authors story line and should be taken in context.
Hello Anil, I have taken some time to answer this question and I hope that I have understood it. As humans we are genetically predisposed to aiming for survival. Survival of the species means procreating and therefore this base instinct survives with it's same urges in todays world. how does this affect our metality toward sex?The short answer is that, generally speaking, girls do not have the same sex/fuck mentality that men do. Girls still have the same evolutionary determined mentality, (in most cases) that our ancestors did. And that is to find a man that she thinks will protect her and her babies. This means that even when women think they can have sex with a man and walk away unhurt if it doesn't amount to anything, usually they have fooled themselves. Women pick men that appeal to them in some way and invest emotionally to some degree in the man they decide to sleep with. Men in most cases do not. They are also evolved & predetermined to find healthy females and procreate as many times as possible. The younger the male, the stronger the urge. In our society today we have the knowledge to understand that this sort of action is unacceptable & can have disastrous consequences to both mother and child. However some men still choose to ignore this as do some women. Take care.
Why do girls take so long to cum?Kevin UK
Hi Kevin, good question! Unfortunately not an easy one to answer. Women are more emotional than men and are not mentally as connected to their hot spots (clitoris, breasts, neck etc) as men are to theirs, (penis, glans, testicles, etc). For women, everything must be right. The place,(not somewhere where anyone can walk in)her perception of whether or not the male is only in it for himself, or to drunk to care, the way in which the male strokes her clitoris, i.e. not too fast or too erratic and most of all her mood will impact on her ability to climax. I hope this helps. Feel free to ask more questions if you have any.
ANSWERS TO TEEN SEX QUESTIONS. 2010
1)Can I fall pregnant if I have sex during my period? Vicky
Hi Vicky, great question! It is possible to fall pregnant even if you are having your period when having sex.
2) Hi, plse help. I am very itchy around my vagina. What is this and why does it keep happening? Ashely N. Carolina.
Hi Ashley. It sounds like you may have Thrush. This occurs quite often for women who are susceptible and most women will experience this problem at least a few times during their lives. There are two common caues. 1. It can be brought on by wearing panties that don't breath, e.g. nylon, wearing trousers too often on warm days. 2.It can be caused by having dry sex (the women is not moist enough. KY Jelly can help with this problem.) or rough sex. It is not 'dirty' so don't try to over clean yourself or use antibacteria soaps and washes as they can make it worse. It is possible to get a cream and tablet over the chemist counter for thrush (candida) these days and most chemists will be happy to advise you. If it does not go away then see the doctor. If you are not sure that this is thrush go and see the doctor. I hope this helps!
3) How do I know if sum 1's got aids? K. UK
Hi K. It is not always possible to see if someone has aids or even other sexually transmitted diseases. This is why it is wise to always use condoms. Take care.
4) How can I stop my junk from standing up every time I get near to the girl I like? It is v embarrasing. TJ US
Hi TJ it sounds like you are a very normal healthy young guy. But I get that this is embarassing for you. I cant tell you for sure that this will work but I know that it helps some guys and that is to think of something completely different like math or sport, or even a girl you don't like. You can also relieve the problem yourself, but honestly, young healthy males can get a second errection pretty soon afterward. Keep your focus on things less sexually stimulating!
5) Hi, I want to know how old girls have to be before they are able to climax. Bonnie
Hi Bonnie, good question. Girls ability to climax can be as young as 11 or 12. However many girls & women don't climax because they don't know their own bodies well enough, or their own likes and dislikes. Women more than men need embrace their fantasys and need to be able to bring themselves to a climax before they can expect a male to be able to do this. Mainly because it takes so much more than a couple of minutes. Girls should expect to get as much from a sexual relationship as guys do. Find out how your body responds by trying it yourself and then you can show your special partner.
6) when menstrual flow of a girl starts?what is white discharge?From:Anonymous. India
Hi, the white discharge that occurs before the menstual cycle isquite normal, as a lot of mucous is produced before the release of an egg. This may vary during the cycle. As long as the discharge is white and not yellow or green and there is no itching present it is normal. Itching can indicate Thrush a very common and treatable condition suffered by many women. I hope this helps you, feel free to ask for more information if you have any other questions.
7) what is a menstrual flow? what type of we should we take?
From: Anonymous India
Hi there, menstrual flow is the biological term for the blood flow that occurs once a month in young girls and women from around the age of 11-14 up to around the age of 54. It is the shedding of the lining of the uterus and unfertilised egg. Often this monthly cycle is not regular in young girls when it first starts, (it can appear a couple of times a year) but settles down to a monthly cycle as they grow older and their hormones regulate the flow. A fertilised egg will stop the flow during pregnancy.
The second half of your question is unfortunately incomplete so I am going to guess that perhaps you may have wanted to know what the best type of protection is to stop the blood from getting onto clothing etc. For young girls I reccomend a medium thickness pad that sticks to the inside of panties. This can be changed every couple of hours or when necessary. They don't hurt whereas a tampon which is inserted into the vagina may make a sore tummy feel worse and is very uncomfortable when not inserted properly. These inserts can be used but should be practiced with before a period so that when it is needed it can be inserted properly and with confidence. Most young girls only need the regular size and or a mini. Some can be inserted with the finger which is easier for first time users as they can feel how the shape of their bodies curve inside the vagina and will know not to try and push it straight up. (These inserts will not damage the hymen)
If this was not your question, or you have any more questions please feel free to ask and I will do my best to get you the answers you need. Go with love.
Please can you help, going for a pee is very painful and there is some stuff coming out the end of my penis? Joe UK
Hi Joe, sounds painful! Anytime there is pain involved with going to the loo for a pee, there will be a cause. In this case, you have a discharge as well. You should see your doctor as soon as possible. Chances are you may have a urinary infection and or an STD. Either way only a doctor can prescribe the necessary medication. In some areas there are clinics that deal with STI's or STD's that are confidential. Please don't sleep with anyone until you have sorted out your problem. I hope this helps.