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Most at Risk TeenagersMost at Risk ages for life changing decisions, are the years between 13 and 15 for both boys and girls alike. It is at this time of life that youngsters feel that they have a good knowledge of what the world is about, how they fit into it and how to manage their lives. To some extent they do understand their world but from a very idealistic point of view that is mostly untarnished from not having too many responsibilities, such as having to pay for boarding, food, clothing and or worrrying about the future etc. The reality is that they mostly have enough knowledge to get into trouble. Which is why children are born to adults and not the other way around, Well mostly!Many young girls between the ages of 14-16 feel that they know how to take care of themselves, the babies that they are trying for or wanting, as well as managing a (pseudo marriage), love life. They can become quite critical of adults in general and oft times their mothers in particular. They may feel that they know how to avoid the mistakes they perceive her to have made, both with them and their fathers or current relationships. All in all they can be rather idealistic, arrogant and hedonistic. These feelings are all perfectly normal for young girls/boys beginning to feel the power and allure of their bodies to both young males/females and adult males/women. Some of these young women feel the need to compete with their mothers' sexuality and will heartlessly try to enlist their fathers as an accomplice in their plans for dating, wearing make-up and the X-Rated clothing they want to wear. And so many doting fathers cannot see past the big loving eyes turned so appealingly toward them!! Sometimes both parents are taken in by the loving daughter/son with all the good reports from school and general intelligence, which by the way all parents feel is 'above average'. That aside, no matter how well educated our children are, at 14-16, they are still Most at Risk of ruining their teen years by either falling pregnant, making someone pregnant, getting involved in the wrong crowd, drinking and making really dumb decisions. Bad decisions may be regretted at leisure, later in life when they are prepared to admit that they may have needed stronger guide lines. As at 14-16, they believe that their friends know much more about them and their hardships than their parents do. They are also mostly unable to relate to their parents ever having been in the same situation as them. And each generation will insist that things are different for them and that their parents just don't understand!!! This is also the age when they just know that the person they have fallen in love with is going to be there forever, even when it is number 4 forever lover! Teen girls that have been sexually abused are even more Most at Risk of falling for love lies from randy young males and older men. These kids, male and female do know more than other kids their age but they still have no idea of how complex real love is, what real men/women are looking for in a friend and lover. Or even how to get a job without having to use their sexual wiles, which is why many youngsters dream about jobs that allow them to flaunt their sexuality. Some young girls believe that they can raise a baby by selling their bodies so that they can pay for their baby's brand name clothing! They are also Most at Risk of being hurt time and time again!! What they need are parents who understand that these urges are natural even for kids who have not been sexually abused and who also understand that these instincts to attract the opposite sex need to be sensitively and persuasively kept in check. This is the age when they are Most at Risk of giving into peer pressure to try out all sorts of things, even enlisting in sex and baby pacts! Allowing young teens to spend more unsupervised time with friends than with their parents and family. places them right inside the jaws of teen society. The dangers of such a situation are obviously higher or lower depending on the elements of the group and the overall environment. Remember that even good kids do dumb things when they are in a large group of kids that are totally unsupervised. City kids are Most at Risk, when it comes to getting involved with gangs, drugs and alcohol. This is mainly due to the fact that many city kids come from homes in which both parents work full day or from single parent homes in which the adult is at work for most of the day. For kids like these left alone and unsupervised it is not a big leap to joining a gang where they feel they have safety in numbers, especially if they are afraid of being bullied. Groups of young teen boys unsupervised for long periods of time can only lead to problems. Add to that the easy accessability of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol and you have quite a lethal cocktail of human mismanagement. Young boys are curious, energetic (don't be fooled by the slumped shoulders and unbrushed teeth and hair) and just looking for something exciting to do!! The city offers it all. There is a definite advantage to bringing kids up in small towns. Number 1, because everyone knows the kids and number 2 the kids also know that, and they therefore know someone will spill the beans!! That doesn't mean of course that they never will do dumb things, of course they will but maybe not as much as their city cousins. Teenagers between the ages of 13 and 16 are Most at Risk for suffering from mild to heavy depression and wild mood swings. Some will try out different personna and search for who the person, in the teen body they inhabit really is. (Boarding school can provide a gate-way for a young teen to escape from the old teen them, to re-inventing a new more adult them. It is also a great way to remove kids from harmful and negative environments). Hormones play a part in the angst that all teenagers suffer from. be it to lesser or greater degrees. Most adults remember the early years of discovering the delights, and embarrassment for some, of changing bodies. Hair suddenly makes an appearance, which is both gratifying and mortifying at the same time. For boys their voices suddenly take on a deeper pitch and when least expected breaks into a tortured squeak. They may also become more agressive as well as smelly! Girls are plagued with a multitude of problems. Not only do they start getting a bust, but they get a monthly injection of hormones along with all the delights of a period! For some teens of both sexes, acne also makes an appearance. This is probably, next to having periods, the worst problem of all. There is no quick fix and there is very little that will cover it completely. However no need to lose all hope as, there are better medications on the market now and professional treatments that can allay the worst of it. If acne makes your child miserable and depressed, your local doctor can probably help, both with the acne and the depression if it is severe. Take note if your child loses his/her personality! ( Not literally of course!) Overall this tortuous becoming of age can be handled with dignity with parental understanding of which needs are the most important. These needs are in essence, understanding and listening to their worries no matter how snall they may seem. Providing both girls and boys with products that help them get through the worst of their individual hygiene problems. Boys need to be told to shower or bath everyday as they get extra smelly due to hormones. Girls need to be shown how to use pads and tampons properly so that they are saved from uneccessary embarassment. This should be taken care of long before the first menstruation occurs. They may also benefit from special deodorants and extra showers during this period. Dont expect your teen lady to become premenstrual as not all girls go through that. Expecting this problem may just become a self-fulfilling prophecy, wait and see how she handles her periods. Boys between these hormonal ages are Most at Risk of feeding a raging appetite to try out anything new and dangerous regardless of the consequences to themselves or others. They are after all still children, even though they will deny this with as much gusto as they are able to summon. For this reason and the reasons mentioned above, they need a lot of supervision and a loads of energy busting activities. Getting boys into any supervised activities is a bonus, as they are being watched but in a way that is not, overtly obvious, (great for girls too). Boredom is enemy number one! Find out what activity is the most enjoyable and appealing to your sons and daughters. Spend time playing together. The old adage of families who play together stay together, holds more than an ounce of truth. This also means that there is less time to try out drugs and alcohol with corner street moochers and takes them out of the Most At Risk group for joining gangs. It also means that parents get to know their children really well and puts them at an advantage if things do go wrong.
Young teen males at this age are Most at Risk of undervaluing themselves if their fathers don't show them love and understanding. They are Most at Risk at this age of being blueprinted in their fathers image, be it bad or good. Fathers who treat their young teen boys like they have no worth should not be surprised when their boys turn treat all humans with no worth. Fathers who abuse their wives put their young teen sons Most at Risk of abusing their future girlfriends and wives in much the same way. They also put their young teen daughters Most at Risk of seeking out abusive relationships as they will know no other kind of love. Both boys and girls who come from abusive families and who have been treated with little worth are Most at Risk of ending up in bad relationships in which they will find themselves endlessly trying to prove that they are worth loving and never knowing what real love is like. For these young teens all I have to say is, no person that loves you will ever want proof of love through your capacity to take the abuse they deal out. If the person you love treats you like a piece of property with no rights, walk away. Nothing you do will be enough to make this person believe you are worthy. In fact just the opposite will happen. The longer & harder we try to prove that we are worth loving and the more love we 'give away', the more permission we give to this person/s to keep on treating us like baggage. Young teens who watch parents drink and fight, and not go to work, are Most at Risk of living their lives the same way. They are Most at Risk of perpetuating the cycle, one generation after the next! Young Teens both boys and girls who are treated with love, understanding, who are given rules and boudaries, who are taught to respect others, young and old, are Most at Risk of treating their relationships and children with the same values.
For more help on Teens, Drugs and alcohol, check out the link below, Untwist your Thinking
Untwist your thinking Teens and Drugs
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